Yeah Yeah...

Rap this to yourself... It'll make you feel good. I'm just going to type what comes across my mind and see how it turns out.....



9:11 is the time, and I'm feelin' fine,
gotta clear my mind, so I spend some time - writin'.
I ain't gonna lie, I been fightin'.
I open up my eyes and I see lightnin' - it's kinda frightnin'.
I let it free flow from the top of the dome, no beat, bring it home.
I don't drive a tricked out car, studded in chrome
but I'm slowly brewin' somethin in my head, I'm brainstorming a Tome.
If you listen to a single word I said, it all led, to a special place.
The secret to life is so sublime, it's right in front of your face.
We cover up its meaning with our mind, and take a place, in line.
The factory is stewin', cookin' carbon copies, urban soldiers, fed lies by the news.
I opened up my eyes, and I refuse to chose to lose.
I popped a fuse and now I'm out to get the ones who made me feel like I SHOULD lose.
I check my head once, twice, make sure It's screwed on tight,
I wouldn't want to lose what's locked inside from petty fright,
Cuz when it's time to fight, my light shines bright,
I'll make it right.

Return to the computer.

Here I am. Back again at the computer for another time. 1:01 AM is the current time.

I feel very peaceful in this moment. A sense of happiness, knowing today was such a good day on various levels. To illustrate why I appreciate today I'm going to write a list of reasons today was one for the record books.

• Preston and Myself had an extremely good conversation.
  
• Written/spoken expression of the mind.
• Freestyles, freestyles, and more freestyles.
  
• Messages in the sand, complete with recipients as well.
  
• Ocean.
• Coco the dog.
• Clam strips on the Wharf @ Gildas.
  
• Parking validation on the Wharf for locals only... which we got :)
  
• Collaboration with Norm and Mike.
• Driving very fast on 101 N.
• The scenery on Highway 1.
• The return home.

I never do this. I never put a list down of all the reasons a day has been good. It feels great to look at all the things that can be done in one day, yet we live so quick-like, in the way that we think... well, at least I do.

I guess growing up with the internet, TV, ON DEMAND, youtube, etc, makes you numb to what life is really about. I need more days like today, where I can release the stress of living in the city amongst the congestion, confusion, and negativity. Santa Cruz has such a laid back attitude, you can feel the energy as you enter. It all changes while driving over the hill. SC is a good place to go release stress while relaxing on the beach.

Tomorrow will be a day completely opposite of today's vibe.

GET BACK TO WORK KID, THIS IS REALITY!

I am thankful though, that I did get approved on my health insurance that I applied for. Yeeeeee!

Why Hockey Represents Life.

I've been mulling this over in my head a while and I just have to put it down so I don't lose it.

Hockey is an exact representation of life to me.

Let me preface this by saying that I was never much a fan for sports when I was a kid. I mean I played badminton in high school for a while, but other than that I could care less.

As a youngster I played basketball, but it was never fun.
Something I lacked in the "drive" department maybe. I just didn't see the fun in it?

As I've gotten older though, man that's weird to say, I've come to enjoy hockey. The San Jose Sharks especially.

Maybe it's that I'm still a little high from the energy of tonight's game. Going always gets me jacked up! Especially tonight after a rough losing streak, to get a shut out... Great feeling for a fan.

To see all those players, and the way they carry themselves.
Gracefully gliding and colliding with each other.
Thus is life.

In hockey you might think you're hot stuff. That you've got game.
One moment later you could be crushed into the boards by an inferior player because you aren't paying enough attention to him.

You might be having a rough night and catch a stick or puck to the face.

Some nights, you're hot. You feel it. You're wrists have the power to send the crowd into an uproarious outburst of applause. You choose to pass to a friend, and score. Still a winning situation. The crowd goes wild.

Other nights you feel down and out. You've tried your best and you still can't get that break..

You have a sure goal on your stick, but you find a way to screw it up somehow.

Bad pass - turnover - opposing team, goal.

You could be struggling to keep your feet under you, but then you get that one shot, that... golden opportunity. Put it in the net. Slam it home.
Live in that moment... that, bliss.

You see in life, you're always looking for that golden opportunity.
I'm looking for it.
If you're not, well then I'm sorry for you.

Tell the people in your life how much you love them.
Because in an instant they could be gone.
Just like your lead in the hockey game.
In a split second... it all changes.

My Gift to You World.

Thrice - Stare At The Sun - Music Video - Click here for funny video clips

Great Song.

Courage To Grow

My ADD is kicking in, and i'm having a hard time focusing on this ECON crud right now... so I'll digress a minute.

This song has been playing in my head ALL day long. Rebelution is sooooo good. Give it a listen.


Courage To Grow by Rebelution

This is a song for those
who lost their hope
a long a long time ago
I know someday that you will find it somehow
Because you're not too old
to accomplish goals
and all the answers are within your soul
its up to you, you gotta figure it out
Uh huh

Whether you want love or money
Good fortune or fame
You want a brand new card
You want the world to change
You better take some action right now, oh yes
Because there's nothing in the world that you can't get
So don't fill your life with confusion and regret
You better take some chances right now

Well you can gain the world
but for the price of your soul
yes I know, well I know, yes I know
you can gain the world for the price of your soul
but I hope you take the road less traveled
and I hope you find the courage to grow
well I hope you find the courage to grow

So now you're 45
and you realize
just what you wanna do with your life
just took some time for you to figure it out
Cause everyone one of us
Has a purpose here
Sometimes its hidden underneath your fear
Just takes some time for the truth to come out

So whether you want love or money
Good fortune or fame
You want a brand new card
You want the world to change
You better take some action right now, oh yes
Because there's nothing in the world that you can't get
So don't fill your life with confusion and regret
You better take some chances right now

Well you can gain the world
but for the price of your soul
yes I know, well I know, yes I know
you can gain the world for the price of your soul
but I hope you take the road less traveled
and I hope you find the courage to grow
well I hope you find the courage to grow

Blog Therapy

Ahhhhh... Done with studying, again, for now.

Time to go to work for a few hours.

Then it's back home to re-fill my head with lots of economically businessey information.

Is businessey a word... probably not.

Good thing I'm not an English major.

Just typing away at the 'ol blog is doing wonders,

The stress of studying melting away.

Today I'll go to work happy,

That I still have a job in these interesting economic times.

Fix some bikes.

Restore some smiles.

Live another day.

Blog Therapy....

It works wonders.

Recruiting...

My friend Chester called me today on my way home from school.
We decided we'd go to lunch, and chill out for a while.

We found ourselves at Sushi Factory,
and proceeded to eat until I felt as if I'd pop.
I don't like that feeling,
but I do like good friends.
Good friends always remain.

Two seats over were a couple of US Marine recruiters.
The closest one to me must have been the teacher,
because his phone kept ringing,
and he gave the speech.
The speech those men give over and over.
"What you're doing is cool,
but what we have to offer is much better.
Do you think you have what it takes?" He asks his victims.

The sad thing is, when he'd hang up...
it was if he'd made his next trophy.
The look on his face was that of,
"Hey look Bob, I got another one".
And the teacher proceeded to tell the student,
how to pitch The Marines.
Like we're just fish,
waiting to be hooked, willingly or Un
To earn more profits for the rich,
In the "War on Terror".

But life is rich in it's own way.
To step outside ones self for a moment and look back,
to see a different person than you thought you knew.
"That's me?"
"That's how I act?"
We need to change this.
I need to change this.

So I change, I...
Evolve.
Into a better human.
A better version of myself.
I know the best is yet to come.

Heavy Thought.

Have you ever felt like you have the key to the world's problems?
The solution to every ailment known?
It's an interesting feeling, when you feel like an Alien on your own planet.
Why are we as humans so hellbent on destroying our earth, and each other?
Why do we treat each other with such blatant disrespect?
Why do we kill each other because we think we don't believe in the same thing?
When and where did we go wrong?

The solution to this problem is so simple,
but sometimes simplicity is the most confusing thing to our ignorant minds...
and the easiest way to hide something, is to put it right out in the open.
"How could that be the truth?" one might ask.
"How could it be that simple?"
"I do not believe you... I choose to believe what they tell me."

They what a terrible word...
That word is so overly used to generalize the oppressors of this great Nation, and great Earth.
They is a generalization used to shift the responsibility we hold onto the unseen creators of this epic dilemma.
If We band together as humans, and forget the race/creed/sexual orientation/etc. that "sets us apart from one another", We will learn to take our future into our own hands, assuming responsibility for our collective fate.

I see so many lost souls every day, feeding into the negative forces that have taken control of our world, and most don't even know it.
That is a scary feeling.
WAKE UP!
Please wake up... for the good of Us as One.

I see my dog, man's best friend.
He loves me no matter what, unconditionally.
No matter how weird or rough my day is, I always know he's there waiting for me.
The warm welcome home. God, I love that dog.
Its kind of funny though that Man's best friend is Dog.
What is Dog spelled backwards?
Yes this sounds a bit preachy, but hey, God should be our best friend.
We know nothing, yet we pretend every day.
We define ourselves by suffixes like PHD and MD, without really knowing ourselves.

I call The One Creator, God, because that is the word I am comfortable using.
I believe that there is something beautiful, and God-Like in every human being on this planet.
We have just been taught to cover it up,
and discard it.
We've been taught that people are evil, and can't be helped.
BS is what I declare to this! BS!

People, let me tell you this.
We are heavenly beings, sent to this planet,
To save our earth, and to save ourselves.
Open your minds to love.

You are never wrong in what you believe, and what you believe should not cast anyone aside.
We are all confused souls trying to figure out the answers to the great questions of life.
I believe we are one mind, and we've created this catastrophe ourselves by standing by silently, with apathy.
Call me crazy, or a hippie, or an insane person... call me what you will.
But I believe in Love, and I believe it is love that will save us.

I am thankful for every person in my life, whether I like them or not. Without these people, good and bad, I would be nothing. They have helped me to see. I am thankful for you.

I have given everything on this planet the only meaning that it has with my mind.

The power of thought.

Calm and Cool

The Ocean,
Endless abyss, too deep to explore.
But what if I just swim awhile?

Have you seen the TV series Planet Earth?
So amazing!
This planet has so much to offer,
but we're destroying it...
and it's inhabitants.


I am going to sleep now,
to dream of bikes, and beauties.
I rest my head in content.

The Bike Shop

Sometimes the thrill of seeing a five year old boy ride his bike is totally worth it.
Some days I'm just not up for it.
To me, a bike shop is one of the happiest places on earth,
so full of potential.
Some lost souls know how to corrupt anything though,
and that's why I'll say I can prove you wrong.
I see much more to life than what's shown on the surface.
So I take solace in knowing, that I do help, in my own way...
He told me so, through a stranger I knew for all of five minutes.
I am proud of myself.
I may be a "wrench", but I'm not a "tool"
and I will not let this dream die,
like so many would hope.
I keep my wheels turning, and find my Zen
In the bike shop.
Whether prying eyes like it or not,
I'll help people in my own way,
and take the heat for it later.
You can't corrupt me.


I woke up today, and felt really heavy with the burden of having to go to work for the same man again. However today I will not feel victimized, because you're only a victim until you take charge. I tried that once, but it didn't work out so well. So for now, I'm gonna keep pressing, and keep helping people in the best way I know how. I'll keep selling bicycles, and I'll keep people coming back, but for some reason, I'll also keep getting problems for the way I work.

Like I mentioned in that short poem above (which by the way just kinda poured out really quickly) I met a woman about a year ago. I was having a horrid day, and she looked at me and said, "Hey son, What's your name?"

I quickly turned around and said "Sean, How are you?"

May I digress for one second, as to inform you that this encounter took place in the post office. I had a package to send to Denmark, and this little old lady had about ten packages going to Africa, China, France and so on...

The nice old lady did not tell me her name, she just closed her eyes and pointed her nose at the ceiling, took a deep breath and said in a drawn out manner, "Sean, God is very proud of you. He see's what you do every day, and he smiles at your heart. It is not your circumstances that define you, it's how you deal with them."

That moment was one of the single best of my life. Almost a sense of validation that I needed in a weak time. When I feel weak, I remember that lady, and what she said to me. I wonder if she knows she's an Angel? She impacted my life greatly that day, and I am thankful for her.

So, for now, I'll go to my post, paste on a smile, and keep myself happy with thoughts of my new friends. I am ever so greatful for them, they keep my life fresh, and bright. I wish I could spend more time with them, I really do. But for now, I'm off to the bike shop... to find my Zen.

I also have to get this out really fast, because now I'm gonna be late... I really miss the presence of K in my life right now. She helped me so much, and then, BOOM, in a flash, I had to stop contact, for now. It sucks though, when someone you love and respect as a person, can not be contacted. I miss you K, if you read this just know that I can't wait to talk and hang again. I've known a couple of my best friends the shortest time of all my friends. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Success.

Bike Party. Oh yes, what a ride. It's been a while since I have ridden with 2000 + other people.
I'm actually writing from the shop computer at the moment while I wait for Dom and her friend to get here to check it out!

Jack Johnson's "Cookie Jar" has been in my head lately ever since I picked up my guitar again. The lyrics are amazing... this is actually one of the two songs I know how to play/sing on guitar... not that I'm amazing or anything.

"Cookie Jar"
I would turn on the TV but it's so embarrassing
To see all the other people I don't know what they mean
And it was magic at first when they spoke without sound
But now this world is gonna hurt you better turn that thing down
Turn it around

"It wasn't me", says the boy with the gun
"Sure I pulled the trigger but it needed to be done
Cause life's been killing me ever since it begun
You cant blame me cause I'm too young"

"You can't blame me sure the killer was my son
But I didn't teach him to pull the trigger of the gun
It's the killing on this TV screen
You cant blame me its those images he's seen"

Well "You can't blame me", says the media man
Well "I wasn't the one who came up with the plan
I just point my camera at what the people want to see
Man it's a two way mirror and you cant blame me"

"You can't blame me", says the singer of the song
Or the maker of the movie which he based his life on
"It's only entertainment and as anyone can see
The smoke machines and makeup and you cant fool me"

It was you it was me it was every man
We've all got the blood on our hands
We only receive what we demand
And if we want hell then hell's what we'll have

And I would turn on the TV
But it's so embarrassing
To see all the other people
I don't even know what they mean
And it was magic at first
But it let everyone down
And now this world is gonna hurt
You better turn it around
Turn it around

-JJ


Have an excellent night world!!

LYRICS!

YO YO YO YO YO..... Hah, last week I started writing a new song... here's a snippet of the lyrics.

You created the storm, the wind, and the rain
now you complicate it more, with the thoughts in ya brain.
Rap is not a pyramid scheme, its an art,
your vision is clouded and you don't know where to start.
So lets kick it off fresh man, come up with a new plan,
get up and take a stand, and try to meet the demand
of your soul.
I've been fighting tryna make myself whole
but I lost a piece in the process,
I was makin' progress, but the stress knocked me down.
I woke up this mornin' and I felt like a clown,
A piece of myself is lost and it must be found......

More to come on that matter later.

For now, I'm off to bike party.... have a safe night kids!

Hair

Today I woke up and decided,

it's time for a haircut.

The mop has gotta go, so I'll call Zohan, and see if he's free for an appt.

Peace !

Clear my Mind.

I didn't realize how beneficial this blog would be when Dominique suggested it to me.

I feel like, when there's no one else to turn to I can just jump on here and record my thoughts without judgment, because It is for myself, as I doubt anyone reads this.

Life is a very interesting game, and we each play our own every day. I feel like the web we weave is so complex sometimes, that's its hard to keep pressing, but I won't fail again.

The interesting thing is that I feel that every time I take a step forward, there is always something to push me back. In the past I've been weak, and let this happen. I will not do that any more. If people keep trying to hold me down, when I break free they will regret it. We all have to live with our choices and decisions, and mine is to take charge of my own life.

Violence is something that I like to keep restricted from my mind. It is so hard though, when every time I turn on the TV I get to see about the stabbings, and the hate, and the war, from the news. So I turned off the TV. I keep myself peaceful, but I've come to a fork in the road, and I don't know which way to turn. I guess I'll let others make their moves first, and hope for the best. I pray that this will blow over, because if it doesn't, well, I'm in the middle of a messy situation.

One thing I've learned about Truth though, those who tell it, will always be protected. So I have faith in myself, and in that of a greater good.

We are only put in the situations we face to learn something... and if life keeps asking you the same questions, you aren't learning your lesson. This is a new lesson for me, so I must be growing.

On a lighter note, I've been working out again, and it will be great to continue what I started. I'm going to prove to myself and to the world, that I have something special to offer.

St. Patricks Day

Today is officially the day of my Grandfather's passing years ago, and he was 100% Irish. Sometimes you have to laugh at the funny little synchronicities in life. We miss you Pop!

I've been writing a lot of great lyrics lately, I've recorded a few rough draft songs lately, and to me they sound like my best ever, and I'm proud of myself. I don't say that enough. I'm proud of myself. It feels good.

New days bring new opportunities so i felt like i could do something I haven't done in a while.

I've been in my head a lot lately,
well I guess I'm always up there.
Songs, rhymes, faces, and memories.
They keep me floating in this endless maze.
Bright lights engulf my vision,
the sky is open again.
I have found peace from within.
I have found also though,
the rain soothes me.
More so than ever before in my life.
Maybe it's that it flushes out the old,
and brings in the new.
Or maybe it's that a great storm
always makes a sunny day,
That much better.

Mondays are rough huh?

Today was an excellent day.