Still Searching...

Well, I guess I shouldn't say I'm actively "searching". I guess it's that I'm more in a holding pattern, just kind of waiting to see what comes next. Don't get me wrong, I can be a patient person at times, but for now my patience has run out, and I'm done waiting for others to make moves. I'll just wait this one out, and keep my eyes open like I always do.

Who were you?? I saw you at school today, twice. I don't know why I did not say "Hi". I guess I was scared. Didn't know how to approach, or maybe it was that I did, and I was just afraid to use the social tools I've developed. I've spent a good deal of time working these skills, and when the opportune moment comes, I freeze. Too much fear. Too much fear. Nix that fear, It helps nothing except the negative forces that it is generated from. Tomorrow I won't make the same mistake, I'll say "Hi."

My mental gears have shifted. I am no longer content living in a world where peoples actions are swept under the rug simply because "that's the way it goes", or "that's how THEY are". I don't care. I just don't care any more. Like I said, my patience has run out, and it's time to make changes yet again. Someone once told me, "be the change you wish to see in the world." I know that's a famous quote, but the way it was said to me made me feel as if it was written specifically for me. Too much time has been spent talking about things. If I ever want to reach my destiny I had better sack up now before it's too late, and they leave me behind.

I know they are watching, always watching. Calculating moves,placing me in situations just to see how I'll react. I know this because you've told me, you've made your presence known, and I appreciate it. It validates my philosophies, and speculations. I appreciate the signs you give me every day, even though at times I blatantly disregard them. I look forward to another visit, I know it's coming soon, my soul is pulling me in your direction again.

I must say this clearly. If you've stood in my way previously, you had better watch out. If you've dragged me around, well I'm sorry I just don't have time for your nonsense any more. If you've wronged me, Karma is real. An eye for an eye does make the whole world blind, but I'm not a vengeful person. The Golden Rule is to Treat others how you wish to be treated. In fact it's the central basis for EVERY religion. Then the religions stem off, and choose sides, and turn us against ourselves. It's time to lift the "veil of ignorance" and prove to this planet that we are one race, the human race. It's time to grow up and learn to live by the Golden Rule.

So like I said, I'm not going to get revenge, I'm just gonna play the game your way, treating you the way you've asked me to treat you with your actions. Let's see how you like it.

This may all seem dark and dreary, but for the past almost two weeks I haven't blogged, this has all been brooding. God, it feels good to release it through these fingers I've been blessed with. It's a beautiful day outside, and Tucker wants to play.

Life is as good as you make it.