As I sat this morning waiting for my first class, on my Birthday, at SFSU, this came pouring out of me... I just had to write it down.
I sit here at the finish line, but yet to start,
I learn these skills to flex my knowledge, it's my art
form.
I am not the norm of what you'd find in the dorms,
my brain storms with memories of past experience.
And my victory comes the day of deliverance of the grades.
All A's is what I pray, and I'll work my ass off, take the cast off my brain,
to see that day.
Wordsmiths writing, thinkers thinking, the chalk is ready, drunks are drinking.
All is in it's place, and I'll soon be in your face.
The rest is up to me...
I set the bar with the best, to test these,
thoughts and memories of what once was...
I dropped the gloves, and put my weak half in check
My strong version took the wheel, and I demand respect.
I wrecked my old ways to prepare for new days, nothing will phase the thought rays
that I omit and display.
And while times change, I refuse to stay the same.
Adapt, evolve, and roll with the punches, in this life there ain't no free lunches,
and it's too damn easy to turn our lives into dungeons.
Misery loves company, and many get trapped.
I made a pact with myself to never again be attacked, and now I know how to act.
I'm here to win, not to be a victim of the system,
A fresh start, finally comfortable inhabitin' the skin I'm in.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Who would've thought...
... That with as little time as I've had since i started this new job, that my next post would be during work. Ha!
I'm sitting on a bench, in the middle of an elementary school, in Corte Madera, CA. As I sit, I am waiting for a sales guy named Lou to finish his survey of the school's A/C units. This mobile blog is saving me from sitting alone and bored in this idle time.
Boy was the ride here interesting... Got lost twice but I did make it after all. I was so stressed out I had to stop and center myself for a moment. Back to earth I came.
I have been sitting here for at least an hour, and so many little children have helped to snap me out if my "funk". Kids are so amazing to watch, they are care-free and mostly happy all of the time. A train of about 30 kids all passed me and they were breath-taken by the ladder that I sit here guarding until Lou comes down. I say breath-taken because 6 or 7 of them made a BiG deal over something as simple as a ladder! A couple of em even asked me if it was mine, and got all excited when I said "yes". I find this truly beautiful and amazing.
It is so easy to forget the innocence that we all once had as kids, because to survive in this harsh world, most innocence is washed out and scrubbed off as we learn the way the world works as we get older.
I've grown up so much over the last month I am amazing myself. However today all it took today for me to FREAK out was getting lost. These kids brought me back to earth, and I thank God for them! It is going to be a wonderful day!
I'm sitting on a bench, in the middle of an elementary school, in Corte Madera, CA. As I sit, I am waiting for a sales guy named Lou to finish his survey of the school's A/C units. This mobile blog is saving me from sitting alone and bored in this idle time.
Boy was the ride here interesting... Got lost twice but I did make it after all. I was so stressed out I had to stop and center myself for a moment. Back to earth I came.
I have been sitting here for at least an hour, and so many little children have helped to snap me out if my "funk". Kids are so amazing to watch, they are care-free and mostly happy all of the time. A train of about 30 kids all passed me and they were breath-taken by the ladder that I sit here guarding until Lou comes down. I say breath-taken because 6 or 7 of them made a BiG deal over something as simple as a ladder! A couple of em even asked me if it was mine, and got all excited when I said "yes". I find this truly beautiful and amazing.
It is so easy to forget the innocence that we all once had as kids, because to survive in this harsh world, most innocence is washed out and scrubbed off as we learn the way the world works as we get older.
I've grown up so much over the last month I am amazing myself. However today all it took today for me to FREAK out was getting lost. These kids brought me back to earth, and I thank God for them! It is going to be a wonderful day!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Change is rampant.
Change has been the theme of the past couple of months in my life. Major change. This train has jumped it's tracks, and it's heading in yet again, a new direction.
Friday night my father propositioned me. He stated that he'd have an opening for a job within his company, paying significantly higher than I make at the bike shop now. Well this was like a gift from Heaven if you ask me... and I took it.
I gave Bill Sr. my letter of resignation, and apologized for leaving when I am. I told him my reasoning, and he responded emotionally instead of logically. Pretty much how I anticipated it. He says I'm leaving a huge void and that I'm screwing them... when in all reality I'm trying to fill the void he ripped in my heart a year ago on that faithful day. Having a father-figure tell you to go F yourself is not fun, in fact, it hurts badly.
I've adopted a new philosophy. The 90/10 principle. This principle simply states that 10% of what happens to you in your life is completely unavoidable.. some would call it fate. The remaining 90% is how you deal with the circumstances of that fateful 10%. This philosophy teaches that you can blame your problems on other people for as long as you want to, but you can't learn and grow until you come to a certain understanding. That is, that your problems are yours for a reason... because you created them.
I am ready for new things, new experiences, new people, new friends.
TWX for now, SF soon. My state of mind has changed. I'm almost at peace. 6 more work days. Wish me luck.
Friday night my father propositioned me. He stated that he'd have an opening for a job within his company, paying significantly higher than I make at the bike shop now. Well this was like a gift from Heaven if you ask me... and I took it.
I gave Bill Sr. my letter of resignation, and apologized for leaving when I am. I told him my reasoning, and he responded emotionally instead of logically. Pretty much how I anticipated it. He says I'm leaving a huge void and that I'm screwing them... when in all reality I'm trying to fill the void he ripped in my heart a year ago on that faithful day. Having a father-figure tell you to go F yourself is not fun, in fact, it hurts badly.
I've adopted a new philosophy. The 90/10 principle. This principle simply states that 10% of what happens to you in your life is completely unavoidable.. some would call it fate. The remaining 90% is how you deal with the circumstances of that fateful 10%. This philosophy teaches that you can blame your problems on other people for as long as you want to, but you can't learn and grow until you come to a certain understanding. That is, that your problems are yours for a reason... because you created them.
I am ready for new things, new experiences, new people, new friends.
TWX for now, SF soon. My state of mind has changed. I'm almost at peace. 6 more work days. Wish me luck.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Guess Who!
"Time will continue without you,
so in the end, it's not about you,
but what did you do
and who do you love,
beside you,
besides you..."
Very powerful words spoken by my man Jack Johnson... these words have stuck with me in my mind.
I also had a very good discussion with a buddy of mine the other day about the wars we're fighting presently. He was in the millitary, and served a year in Iraq, and he said, "it is very intimidating fighting an enemy who doesn't care if he lives or dies..." Those words have not left my head ever since he uttered them...
I must figure out how to change the world. I will stop at nothing.
so in the end, it's not about you,
but what did you do
and who do you love,
beside you,
besides you..."
Very powerful words spoken by my man Jack Johnson... these words have stuck with me in my mind.
I also had a very good discussion with a buddy of mine the other day about the wars we're fighting presently. He was in the millitary, and served a year in Iraq, and he said, "it is very intimidating fighting an enemy who doesn't care if he lives or dies..." Those words have not left my head ever since he uttered them...
I must figure out how to change the world. I will stop at nothing.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Spontanious Memories and Dad's
About a month ago I received an email from the Catalyst Club in Santa Cruz, like I do every month. I read that Dredg will be playing with Good Hustle sometime in May, and I know one of GH's members. I kept telling Ben that I'd go see them play, because the sound amazing as I have heard online. Time went on, and things came up, and I lost track thinking about the show. "Oh well" was all I thought...
Fast forward.
Thursday, technically yesterday at the present time, but it still feels like today. An old good friend, Justin, or just "Dad" as we call him, calls me with about a half hour left in my shift. He says, "Hey buddy, you wanna go see Dredg tonight at the Catalyst?
Instantly I said, "Why yes sir, I do." And it was on.
Proof reading is for suckers.
J bought my ticket for me, because I agreed to drive, so entry didn't even put a dent in my wallet. Nice. We got in and I finally got to see my buddy Ben play with Good Hustle, and the rocked the house! That sure sounds corny, but seriously, they had amazing energy and funky sounds. Nice.
Then Dredg came on. Seriously, they were so awesome live. They played "Bug Eyes", "Catch Without Arms", and "Same 'Ol Road", my favorites. After a rather interesting day, a loooooong day, it felt so good to speed over highway 17, listen to amazing music, and speed home with a good friend that I miss spending time with. Time changes, things change, that's life. Sorry, but that's life. People come in and out, and around, and back, and forward, and away, and even sideways. Life brings us in different directions, but sometimes it steers us back.
Good friends, good memories... let the good times roll baby!
Fast forward.
Thursday, technically yesterday at the present time, but it still feels like today. An old good friend, Justin, or just "Dad" as we call him, calls me with about a half hour left in my shift. He says, "Hey buddy, you wanna go see Dredg tonight at the Catalyst?
Instantly I said, "Why yes sir, I do." And it was on.
Proof reading is for suckers.
J bought my ticket for me, because I agreed to drive, so entry didn't even put a dent in my wallet. Nice. We got in and I finally got to see my buddy Ben play with Good Hustle, and the rocked the house! That sure sounds corny, but seriously, they had amazing energy and funky sounds. Nice.
Then Dredg came on. Seriously, they were so awesome live. They played "Bug Eyes", "Catch Without Arms", and "Same 'Ol Road", my favorites. After a rather interesting day, a loooooong day, it felt so good to speed over highway 17, listen to amazing music, and speed home with a good friend that I miss spending time with. Time changes, things change, that's life. Sorry, but that's life. People come in and out, and around, and back, and forward, and away, and even sideways. Life brings us in different directions, but sometimes it steers us back.
Good friends, good memories... let the good times roll baby!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
iBlog
Just got a blog app for the iPhone.... Sweet sweet bloggyness on the go.
More to come... Stand by.
More to come... Stand by.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Cinco De Moustache
May is here kids, May is surely here. Today is Cinco de Mayo, nothing special if you ask me considering that the Mexican Independence day is actually September 15th...... Maybe some are just trying to boost Corona sales!
Where is my head at? Hmmmm, that's a good question. Well to start, I FINALLY fixed my dad's bike today, after weeks of fighting it, and I must say that that feels good.
My Sharks are 3-0 versus DETROIT, which is amazing! I only hope that they can finish in a 4-0 sweep and get some good rest, because Lord know's we'll need it for the next round against........ (my guess, Chicago)
School.
School has never been my friend. This quarter is testing me. One class, and I feel like I have ten. Accounting surely is a demon I can't wait to exorcise! I will be strong, and I will see it through.
Each day, I get closer to SF, and now I'm just ecstatic. I literally cannot wait to get out of this place. It's not that I'm running from anything at all either, which feels good. It's just that I've been more or less a full time resident of SJ my entire life. Yes I will miss this city, and yes I'll miss my friends, but I'm ready to move on, and grow more into a man... on my own.
I am very thankful for the friends that I have, and the ones who have helped me to feel better about myself. You all have done me a service that is priceless to me. Thank you for your help so far, but I've got a long road to walk down, and i'm halfway there.
I actually watched a good movie last night, "She's out of your League". The message was well worth sitting at the drive-in with whiners in the back seat.
As for now, I think I'll just relax a bit, and try to sleep earlier than normal. I keep telling myself to swim with the current and not against it... but your own advice is always the hardest to take!
Where is my head at? Hmmmm, that's a good question. Well to start, I FINALLY fixed my dad's bike today, after weeks of fighting it, and I must say that that feels good.
My Sharks are 3-0 versus DETROIT, which is amazing! I only hope that they can finish in a 4-0 sweep and get some good rest, because Lord know's we'll need it for the next round against........ (my guess, Chicago)
School.
School has never been my friend. This quarter is testing me. One class, and I feel like I have ten. Accounting surely is a demon I can't wait to exorcise! I will be strong, and I will see it through.
Each day, I get closer to SF, and now I'm just ecstatic. I literally cannot wait to get out of this place. It's not that I'm running from anything at all either, which feels good. It's just that I've been more or less a full time resident of SJ my entire life. Yes I will miss this city, and yes I'll miss my friends, but I'm ready to move on, and grow more into a man... on my own.
I am very thankful for the friends that I have, and the ones who have helped me to feel better about myself. You all have done me a service that is priceless to me. Thank you for your help so far, but I've got a long road to walk down, and i'm halfway there.
I actually watched a good movie last night, "She's out of your League". The message was well worth sitting at the drive-in with whiners in the back seat.
As for now, I think I'll just relax a bit, and try to sleep earlier than normal. I keep telling myself to swim with the current and not against it... but your own advice is always the hardest to take!
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